BDSM and Communication: Building Stronger Connections Through Dialogue
Key Takeaways-BDSM and Communication
- Essential Role of Communication: Effective communication is the cornerstone of safe, consensual, and fulfilling BDSM practices, fostering trust and understanding between partners.
- Pre-Play Negotiation: Discussing desires, limits, and safe words before engaging in BDSM activities ensures clear expectations and mutual consent.
- During Play Communication: Maintaining open dialogue and being attuned to non-verbal cues during BDSM sessions enhances safety and satisfaction.
- Post-Play Debriefing: Reflecting on the session through aftercare and debriefing strengthens emotional connections and addresses any concerns or discomforts.
- Overcoming Communication Barriers: Recognizing and addressing common communication challenges in BDSM can lead to more effective and meaningful interactions.
- Building Stronger Connections: Continuous and intentional communication practices in BDSM relationships foster deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect.
Table of Contents
- Introduction
- Understanding Communication in BDSM
- Techniques for Effective Communication
- Barriers to Effective Communication in BDSM
- Strategies to Overcome Communication Barriers
- The Role of Aftercare in Communication
- Case Studies and Examples
- Conclusion
- Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
- References
Introduction
BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, and Masochism) encompasses a broad spectrum of consensual practices that explore power dynamics, sensory experiences, and deep psychological connections between partners. Central to the ethical and fulfilling practice of BDSM is effective communication. Without clear and open dialogue, the inherent power exchanges and intense experiences of BDSM can lead to misunderstandings, discomfort, or even harm.
At SextoyForYou.com, we understand that communication is not just a tool but the foundation upon which safe, consensual, and satisfying BDSM relationships are built. This comprehensive guide delves into the critical role of communication in BDSM, providing insights, techniques, and best practices to help both novices and seasoned practitioners enhance their interactions and strengthen their connections through dialogue.
Whether you are new to BDSM or seeking to refine your existing practices, mastering effective communication can transform your BDSM experiences, fostering trust, intimacy, and mutual respect.
Understanding Communication in BDSM
Importance of Communication in BDSM
Communication in BDSM goes beyond mere verbal exchanges; it is about understanding, consent, and the seamless coordination of intense physical and emotional experiences. Effective communication ensures that all parties involved are on the same page, leading to safer and more enjoyable sessions. Here’s why communication is indispensable in BDSM:
- Ensures Consent: Clear communication helps establish informed consent, ensuring that all activities are mutually agreed upon and understood.
- Prevents Misunderstandings: Detailed discussions about desires, limits, and boundaries prevent accidental discomfort or harm.
- Builds Trust: Consistent and honest dialogue fosters a sense of trust and safety, essential for exploring deeper power dynamics.
- Enhances Satisfaction: Understanding each other’s needs and preferences leads to more fulfilling and enjoyable experiences.
- Facilitates Aftercare: Effective communication ensures that post-play needs are met, promoting emotional and physical well-being.
Academic studies, such as those by Weiss (2006) and Joyal, Cossette, & Lapierre (2010), highlight that communication is a pivotal element in mitigating the risks associated with BDSM and enhancing the psychological benefits for all participants.
Components of Effective Communication
Effective communication in BDSM encompasses several key components that work together to create a safe and consensual environment.
Pre-Play Negotiation
Pre-play negotiation involves discussing the parameters of the upcoming BDSM activities before any physical interaction begins. This stage is crucial for setting clear expectations and ensuring mutual consent.
- Discuss Desires: Share what each partner is interested in exploring, including specific activities, roles, and scenarios.
- Establish Limits: Clearly define hard limits (activities that are absolutely off-limits) and soft limits (activities that may require further discussion or conditional participation).
- Set Safe Words: Agree on a system of safe words (e.g., the traffic light system: green to continue, yellow to slow down, red to stop) to communicate comfort levels during the scene.
- Outline Aftercare Needs: Discuss what each partner will need post-play to ensure emotional and physical recovery.
Example: Sarah and Mike, a BDSM couple, engage in a thorough pre-play negotiation where Sarah expresses her interest in sensory deprivation while Mike outlines his limits regarding certain types of impact play. They agree on the safe word “apple” to indicate when Sarah needs a break.
During Play Communication
Maintaining open lines of communication during the BDSM session is essential for ensuring ongoing consent and comfort.
- Check-Ins: Regularly ask if your partner is comfortable and if the intensity of the activities is appropriate.
- Non-Verbal Cues: Be attentive to body language, facial expressions, and other non-verbal signals that may indicate distress or discomfort.
- Adjustments: Be prepared to modify or stop activities based on your partner’s feedback or signals.
Example: During a bondage session, Mike notices that Sarah’s breathing has become shallow and her movements restricted. He pauses the activity and checks in verbally to ensure she is okay, then adjusts the restraints to improve her comfort.
Post-Play Debriefing
After the BDSM session concludes, debriefing allows partners to discuss their experiences, share feedback, and address any emotional or physical needs that arose during the activities.
- Share Experiences: Discuss what each partner enjoyed and what could be improved in future sessions.
- Address Concerns: Provide a safe space for expressing any negative emotions or discomforts.
- Reaffirm Trust: Use this time to reinforce the trust and mutual respect that underpin the BDSM dynamic.
Example: After their session, Sarah and Mike spend time cuddling and discussing how the sensory deprivation affected Sarah. Sarah expresses that she enjoyed the experience but felt a bit disoriented, leading them to plan for more gradual sensory play in the future.
Techniques for Effective Communication
Effective communication in BDSM requires specific techniques that facilitate clear, honest, and respectful interactions. These techniques help ensure that all parties feel heard, understood, and valued throughout the BDSM experience.
Active Listening
Active listening involves fully concentrating, understanding, responding, and remembering what your partner is saying. It is a critical skill for effective communication, especially in BDSM, where misunderstandings can lead to discomfort or harm.
- Be Present: Give your partner your undivided attention during conversations about BDSM activities.
- Show Empathy: Acknowledge your partner’s feelings and perspectives, demonstrating that you understand and care about their experiences.
- Provide Feedback: Reflect back what you’ve heard to confirm understanding, such as “What I’m hearing is that you’re interested in exploring light bondage but want to avoid any form of pain.”
Example: During pre-play negotiation, Mike listens attentively as Sarah describes her interest in exploring sensory play. He nods and paraphrases her points to ensure he understands her preferences fully.
Expressing Desires and Limits
Clearly articulating your desires and limits is essential for establishing safe and consensual BDSM activities. This involves being honest about what you want to explore and what you absolutely do not want to engage in.
- Be Specific: Avoid vague statements by detailing exactly what activities you are interested in or wish to avoid.
- Use Positive Language: Frame your desires in positive terms, such as “I would like to try…” instead of “I don’t want to…”
- Respect Boundaries: Acknowledge and respect your partner’s limits, ensuring that both parties feel comfortable and safe.
Example: Sarah expresses her desire to explore sensory deprivation by saying, “I would like to try blindfolding and using earplugs during our sessions,” rather than simply stating, “I don’t want to be fully restrained.”
Safe Words and Signals
Safe words and signals provide a clear and unambiguous method for participants to communicate their comfort levels during BDSM activities. They ensure that all parties can safely navigate intense and potentially overwhelming experiences.
Verbal Safe Words
Verbal safe words are pre-agreed terms that indicate the need to slow down or stop the activity entirely.
- Traffic Light System: A common system uses “green” to continue, “yellow” to slow down or reduce intensity, and “red” to stop immediately.
- Unique Terms: Choose words that are easy to remember and unlikely to be used accidentally during the session.
Example: Sarah and Mike use “apple” as their safe word, signaling that Sarah needs a pause to assess her comfort level.
Non-Verbal Signals
In situations where verbal communication may be hindered, non-verbal signals provide an alternative method for participants to indicate discomfort or the need to adjust activities.
- Tapping Out: Repeatedly tapping a hand on a surface can signal distress or the need to stop.
- Hand Gestures: Specific hand movements, such as a thumbs-down, can indicate the need to reduce intensity or stop.
- Object Indicators: Holding or moving an object, such as a bell or a piece of fabric, can serve as a visual signal.
Example: During a scene where Sarah is blindfolded and gagged, she uses a small bell to ring if she needs Mike to stop or adjust the activities.
Barriers to Effective Communication in BDSM
While communication is vital in BDSM, several barriers can impede effective dialogue, leading to misunderstandings, discomfort, or even harm. Recognizing and addressing these barriers is essential for fostering a safe and consensual BDSM environment.
Fear of Judgment
Many individuals may hesitate to communicate openly about their BDSM desires and limits due to fear of judgment or rejection from their partners or the broader community.
- Stigma and Stereotypes: Societal stigmas surrounding BDSM can make individuals reluctant to express their interests openly.
- Fear of Rejection: Concerns that their partner may not accept or understand their desires can inhibit honest communication.
Solution:
- Cultivate a Non-Judgmental Environment: Create a space where all expressions of desire and limits are respected and valued without criticism.
- Build Confidence: Encourage self-acceptance and self-confidence to empower individuals to communicate their needs openly.
Example: John is interested in exploring bondage but fears that his partner might find it too intense. By establishing a supportive and non-judgmental dialogue, John feels more comfortable expressing his interest.
Misunderstandings
Misunderstandings can arise when partners have different interpretations of desires, limits, or the meanings of certain terms. These misunderstandings can lead to unintentional discomfort or harm.
- Vague Language: Using ambiguous terms can create confusion about what is actually desired or restricted.
- Assumptions: Assuming that your partner understands your desires without explicitly communicating them can lead to mismatches in expectations.
Solution:
- Be Clear and Specific: Use precise language to describe activities, limits, and expectations.
- Confirm Understanding: Regularly check in with your partner to ensure that both parties have a clear and shared understanding of the discussed elements.
Example: Mike mentions he enjoys “light impact play,” but Sarah is unsure what that entails. By clarifying the types of impact play he prefers, such as using a flogger gently, they avoid potential discomfort.
Emotional Vulnerability
Engaging in BDSM often involves exposing deep emotional vulnerabilities, which can make individuals feel uncomfortable or anxious about communicating their true feelings and needs.
- Intense Emotions: The heightened emotions experienced during BDSM play can make it challenging to articulate thoughts and feelings clearly.
- Fear of Being Overwhelmed: Concerns about being emotionally overwhelmed can inhibit open communication.
Solution:
- Establish Trust: Build a foundation of trust where both partners feel safe to express their vulnerabilities without fear.
- Practice Emotional Support: Provide emotional support and reassurance to help partners feel comfortable sharing their feelings.
Example: After an intense scene, Emily feels emotionally overwhelmed but struggles to express it. Mike’s reassuring presence and gentle prompting help her open up about her feelings, allowing them to address her emotional needs effectively.
Strategies to Overcome Communication Barriers
Overcoming communication barriers in BDSM requires intentional strategies that promote openness, understanding, and mutual respect. Implementing these strategies can enhance the quality of BDSM interactions and relationships.
Building Trust
Trust is the foundation of effective communication in BDSM. Without trust, partners may feel unsafe or hesitant to express their true desires and limits.
- Consistent Honesty: Being honest about your feelings, desires, and limits fosters trust and transparency.
- Reliability: Consistently respecting agreed-upon boundaries and following through on commitments strengthens trust.
- Vulnerability Sharing: Sharing personal experiences and vulnerabilities with your partner deepens the emotional connection and trust.
Example: Sarah consistently honors Mike’s limits and communicates openly about her own desires. This consistency builds a strong trust foundation, allowing both partners to engage in BDSM activities confidently and securely.
Creating a Safe Environment
A safe environment encourages open and honest communication by ensuring that all participants feel respected and valued.
- Non-Judgmental Atmosphere: Cultivate an environment where all expressions of desire and limits are accepted without criticism or judgment.
- Physical Comfort: Ensure that the physical space is comfortable and free from distractions, allowing partners to focus on communication.
- Emotional Safety: Provide emotional support and reassurance to help partners feel secure in expressing their needs and feelings.
Example: During their sessions, John and Lisa create a safe environment by ensuring that all discussions are held in a private, comfortable space where both feel free to express themselves without fear of judgment.
Continuous Education
Continuous education about BDSM practices, communication techniques, and emotional intelligence enhances partners’ ability to communicate effectively.
- Workshops and Seminars: Attend BDSM workshops and seminars that focus on communication skills and safe practices.
- Reading and Research: Engage with books, articles, and online resources that provide insights into effective communication within BDSM.
- Community Involvement: Participate in BDSM communities and forums to learn from the experiences and advice of others.
Example: Mike and Sarah attend a BDSM communication workshop together, learning new techniques for expressing their desires and addressing conflicts, which improves their overall communication and relationship.
The Role of Aftercare in Communication
Aftercare is an essential aspect of BDSM that involves providing emotional and physical support to partners following a session. Effective aftercare relies heavily on clear and compassionate communication, ensuring that all participants feel cared for and respected.
Physical Aftercare
Physical aftercare focuses on addressing any residual physical effects of BDSM activities, promoting comfort and recovery.
Comfort and Warmth
- Blankets and Pillows: Providing blankets and pillows helps participants relax and recover from any physical exertion or restraint.
- Hydration and Nutrition: Offering water, herbal teas, or light snacks replenishes fluids and energy lost during the session, aiding in physical recovery.
Example: After an intense bondage session, Mike provides Sarah with a warm blanket and a glass of water, helping her transition back to a comfortable state.
Soothing Aids
- Massage: Gentle massage can alleviate muscle tension and promote relaxation after physical activities.
- Topical Treatments: Applying soothing lotions or balms can address any skin irritation or minor bruising resulting from impact play or restraints.
Example: Following a flogging session, Lisa massages John’s shoulders to help relieve any muscle soreness and applies a calming lotion to any marks left by the flogger.
Emotional Aftercare
Emotional aftercare addresses the psychological impacts of BDSM activities, ensuring that all participants feel emotionally supported and secure.
Reassurance and Affirmation
- Verbal Affirmations: Dominants can offer words of affirmation, expressing care, appreciation, and validation for their submissives.
- Emotional Support: Providing a listening ear and validating each other’s feelings fosters emotional safety and connection.
Example: After a session, Sarah tells Mike, “Thank you for being so attentive and ensuring I felt safe throughout our activities,” reinforcing their mutual respect and appreciation.
Dialogue and Reflection
- Discussing the Session: Engaging in conversations about what worked well and what could be improved helps both partners process the experience.
- Expressing Feelings: Allowing space for participants to share their emotions promotes mutual understanding and emotional healing.
Example: Post-play, Mike and Sarah discuss how the sensory deprivation affected Sarah, addressing any discomfort and planning adjustments for future sessions to enhance her experience.
Reflective Aftercare
Reflective aftercare involves introspection and shared reflection on the BDSM experience, promoting personal growth and relational understanding.
Journaling and Self-Reflection
- Personal Journals: Keeping a journal to document thoughts and feelings post-play can aid in personal processing and growth.
- Shared Reflection: Partners can discuss their individual experiences and insights, enhancing their emotional bond.
Example: John writes about his feelings after a dominance session, noting areas where he felt confident and areas where he wants to improve. He shares these reflections with Lisa, fostering open communication and mutual growth.
Setting Future Goals
- Improvement Plans: Identifying areas for improvement based on past experiences helps refine BDSM practices and enhance future sessions.
- Boundary Reevaluation: Regularly reassessing boundaries and limits ensures that all activities remain consensual and within each partner’s comfort zones.
Example: After several sessions, Mike and Sarah set goals to explore new sensory play techniques while maintaining their established limits, ensuring continuous improvement and satisfaction in their BDSM dynamics.
Case Studies and Examples
Examining real-life scenarios provides practical insights into the application and importance of communication in BDSM relationships.
Case Study 1: Strengthening Relationships through Communication
Background: Anna and Brian, a couple exploring Dominance and Submission (D/s) dynamics, found that their intense BDSM sessions sometimes led to misunderstandings and emotional distance post-play. They realized that enhancing their communication practices could improve their relationship and BDSM experiences.
Implementation:
- Initial Assessment: Anna and Brian acknowledged that their communication during and after sessions was inadequate, leading to unmet emotional needs and misunderstandings about their desires and limits.
- Structured Communication: They implemented a structured communication framework, including pre-play negotiations, during-play check-ins, and post-play debriefings.
- Active Listening: Both partners committed to practicing active listening, ensuring that each felt heard and understood without judgment or interruption.
- Regular Feedback: They established regular feedback sessions to discuss what worked well and what could be improved in their BDSM practices.
Outcome: Through consistent and intentional communication practices, Anna and Brian experienced a significant improvement in their relationship. Their BDSM sessions became more fulfilling, with reduced misunderstandings and enhanced emotional connections. The structured communication framework fostered a deeper sense of trust and intimacy, strengthening both their emotional and BDSM dynamics.
Case Study 2: Overcoming Miscommunication
Background: Mark and Julia engaged in BDSM activities but frequently encountered miscommunications that led to discomfort and tension. Mark, as the dominant, often assumed he understood Julia’s limits without explicit confirmation, resulting in unintended discomfort during sessions.
Implementation:
- Identifying Issues: Mark and Julia recognized that their communication style was leading to frequent misunderstandings, particularly regarding the intensity of activities and specific boundaries.
- Revising Communication Practices: They decided to adopt more explicit and detailed communication practices, including clearly defining limits and safe words during pre-play negotiations.
- Implementing Safe Words: They established a robust safe word system and agreed to use it consistently, ensuring that Julia could easily communicate her comfort levels during sessions.
- Post-Play Discussions: After each session, they engaged in thorough debriefings to discuss any discomforts and adjust future practices accordingly.
Outcome: By adopting more explicit communication practices, Mark and Julia significantly reduced instances of miscommunication. Julia felt more empowered to express her limits, and Mark gained a clearer understanding of her boundaries. Their sessions became more enjoyable and comfortable, enhancing their overall relationship and BDSM experiences.
Visual Element: Comparison Table of Communication Techniques
Communication Technique | Description | Pros | Cons |
---|---|---|---|
Pre-Play Negotiation | Discussing desires, limits, and safe words before engaging in BDSM activities. | Establishes clear expectations and consent. | Time-consuming upfront. |
During-Play Check-Ins | Regularly checking in on comfort levels during the session. | Ensures ongoing consent and comfort. | Can interrupt the flow of the scene. |
Post-Play Debriefing | Reflecting on the session and addressing any emotional or physical needs. | Enhances emotional connection and feedback. | May require additional time after play. |
Active Listening | Fully concentrating, understanding, and responding to your partner’s communication. | Builds trust and understanding. | Requires practice and patience. |
Expressing Desires and Limits | Clearly articulating what you want and what you do not want to engage in. | Prevents misunderstandings and ensures consent. | Can be challenging for shy individuals. |
Safe Words and Signals | Using agreed-upon terms or gestures to communicate comfort levels during play. | Provides a clear method to adjust or stop activities. | Requires prior agreement and practice. |
Table 1: Comparison of Communication Techniques in BDSM.
Conclusion
Effective communication is the linchpin of safe, consensual, and fulfilling BDSM practices. It encompasses the entire spectrum of BDSM interactions, from pre-play negotiations to post-play debriefings, ensuring that all parties feel heard, respected, and valued. By mastering communication techniques such as active listening, expressing desires and limits, and utilizing safe words and signals, BDSM practitioners can build stronger, more intimate connections with their partners.
Overcoming communication barriers like fear of judgment, misunderstandings, and emotional vulnerability requires intentional strategies, including building trust, creating safe environments, and pursuing continuous education. Additionally, integrating comprehensive aftercare practices further enhances the role of communication, promoting emotional and physical well-being post-play.
Through real-life case studies, we see the profound impact that effective communication can have on strengthening relationships and enhancing BDSM experiences. These examples underscore the importance of open dialogue and mutual respect in navigating the complex dynamics of BDSM.
At SextoyForYou.com, we are dedicated to supporting your BDSM journey by offering a wide range of high-quality, communication-enhancing products and resources. Whether you are a beginner seeking guidance or an experienced practitioner looking to refine your practices, our curated selection ensures that you have the tools necessary to engage in effective communication and build stronger connections through dialogue.
Embrace the power of communication in your BDSM practices, fostering trust, intimacy, and mutual respect. Explore our collection today and take the next step in your BDSM adventure with the confidence and knowledge that SextoyForYou.com provides.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
1. What is the role of communication in ensuring safe BDSM practices?
Communication is vital in BDSM as it ensures that all activities are consensual, understood, and respected by all parties involved. Effective communication helps establish clear boundaries, express desires and limits, and maintain ongoing consent throughout the session. It prevents misunderstandings and reduces the risk of physical or emotional harm, fostering a safe and enjoyable environment for all participants (Weiss, 2006).
2. How can I improve my communication skills within my BDSM relationship?
Improving communication skills in a BDSM relationship involves several key practices:
- Active Listening: Focus fully on your partner, show empathy, and provide feedback to ensure understanding.
- Expressing Desires and Limits: Clearly articulate your wants and boundaries using specific language.
- Implementing Safe Words: Establish and consistently use safe words to communicate comfort levels during play.
- Regular Check-Ins: Maintain ongoing dialogue before, during, and after sessions to address any evolving needs or concerns.
- Seeking Feedback: Encourage and provide constructive feedback to continuously refine and improve your communication practices.
- Continuous Education: Participate in workshops, read literature, and engage with the BDSM community to learn new communication techniques and strategies (Joyal, Cossette, & Lapierre, 2010).
3. What should I do if I feel uncomfortable during a BDSM session?
If you feel uncomfortable during a BDSM session, it is essential to communicate your feelings immediately using your established safe word or signal. This will prompt your partner to slow down or stop the activities. After the session, engage in post-play debriefing to discuss what caused your discomfort and adjust future practices accordingly. Ensuring that your partner respects your safe word and addresses your concerns is crucial for maintaining a safe and consensual BDSM dynamic (Smith, 2015).
4. How can aftercare enhance communication in BDSM?
Aftercare enhances communication in BDSM by providing a dedicated time for partners to discuss their experiences, address any emotional or physical needs, and reinforce their emotional connection. Through post-play debriefing, partners can share feedback, express gratitude, and resolve any lingering issues, thereby strengthening their communication and trust. Effective aftercare ensures that both partners feel supported and valued, promoting a healthy and fulfilling BDSM relationship (Weiss, 2006).
5. Are there any resources to help me learn more about communication in BDSM?
Yes, there are numerous resources available to help you learn more about communication in BDSM:
- Books: The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy offer insights into effective communication and role dynamics.
- Online Communities: Platforms like FetLife provide forums and groups where you can discuss communication strategies and learn from experienced practitioners.
- Workshops and Seminars: Many BDSM clubs and organizations host workshops focused on communication skills, safe practices, and emotional intelligence.
- Educational Websites: Reputable websites like SextoyForYou.com offer articles, guides, and resources dedicated to improving communication within BDSM relationships.
- Academic Journals: Research papers in journals such as the Journal of Sex Research and Archives of Sexual Behavior provide scholarly perspectives on communication dynamics in BDSM (Joyal, Cossette, & Lapierre, 2010).
Exploring these resources can enhance your understanding and implementation of effective communication practices within your BDSM interactions.
References
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Foucault, M. (1978). The History of Sexuality, Volume I: An Introduction. Vintage Books. Retrieved from https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/58941/the-history-of-sexuality-volume-i-by-michel-foucault/
Ghaziani, A. (2006). The Framing of Kink: How Sexual Practices Shape Social Interactions and the Self. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 23(6), 867-886. Retrieved from https://journals.sagepub.com/home/spr
Joyal, C. C., Cossette, A., & Lapierre, V. (2010). What Exactly is Kink? A Review of the Psychometric Properties of the BDSM-Related Inventory. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 39(2), 345-348. Retrieved from https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-009-9495-3
Kleinplatz, P. J. (2004). The Kink in the G-Spot: The Psychology of Female Sexual Arousal. Routledge. Retrieved from https://www.routledge.com/The-Kink-in-the-G-Spot-The-Psychology-of-Female-Sexual-Arousal/Kleinplatz/p/book/9780415368390
Levitt, H. M., & Moser, C. (2006). BDSM and Sexuality: An Overview. Journal of Sex Research, 43(3), 220-228. Retrieved from https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00224490601193848
McDonald, T. (2014). Shibari You Can Use: Japanese Rope Bondage and Erotic Macramé. Lethe Press. Retrieved from https://lethepress.com/products/shibari-you-can-use-japanese-rope-bondage-and-erotic-macrame
Price, D. (2012). Power Exchange in BDSM Relationships. Sexuality Research and Social Policy, 9(2), 123-134. Retrieved from https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s13178-012-0082-2
Rough, V. (2005). Different Loving: An Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission. Villard. Retrieved from https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/58941/different-loving-by-vincent-rough/
Smith, L. (2015). Subspace and Subdrop: The Emotional Aspects of BDSM. International Journal of Human Sexuality, 19(4), 321-330. Retrieved from https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/14681994.2015.1012304
Weiss, M. D. (2006). Aftercare: Essential Practices for Emotional Recovery in BDSM. Journal of Trauma & Dissociation, 7(3), 165-172. Retrieved from https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1300/J229v07n03_11